Driving home from church tonight I got to thinking about what Dale had spoken about during the service and the meaning of the words that we use. What do we mean when we say Hosanna - do we want God to come save us and get so close minded that we miss His blessings or do we say Hosanna to worship and praise God. I wonder what I mean when I say it. I know that you are supposed to pray where you are in your spiritual walk - so is it ok then to sometimes say Hosanna - come save me? I have been saying that alot lately and I get more stressed out and depressed because I can't see God saving me - yet in the Bible it says He hears us before we even ask. So why do I feel like He never hears me or is always saying no. I don't think I can move on in my meaning of Hosanna until I see answered prayer. I am trying to stay open about how God may answer but usually end up getting frustrated and start praying for a specific answer to my prayer yet still wanting to pray for God's will. I often feel like a hypocrite because it always seems like I am contradicting myself with my own thoughts and actions. So I wonder if I would have been part of that group that crucified Christ after praising Him at the beginning of the week. Would I have turned my back on Him because He did not answer my prayer/wants the way I wanted Him to? I fear that I would have fallen into that group. In my first year of college I was part of a group that acted out Christ's arrest and subsequent crucifiction for a day of prayer - that left an impact on me. Next year we were asked to do it again and we declined - crucifying Christ once was enough even though it was only a symbolic crucifiction. How many times do I do it each day though with my words and thoughts and demands. As much as I do not want to demand anything from God I seem to do it alot and want to use excuses like Scripture that says to ask and you will receive or I can only do what I can where I am. I don't know if these are legit excuses or not - but I do know that I can ask God for some really scary stuff when I no longer know what to ask for.
Another thought on what Dale said tonight - immediately respond to God - how do you know if it is God speaking to you or Satan trying to trick you? My mom said to obey and you can hear God easier each time that you obey. My response is a simple question - how can you obey if you can't hear God speak? How can you respond if you question if it is really God speaking to you. Can it be faith if you fear listening to the devil over listening to GOd so response is slow if at all. Satan is supposed to be able to come as an angel of light which makes it harder to see him through his disguise and catch him at his trickery and deceit. Yet God's sheep hear his voice and recognize it as the true shepherd - then does low self esteem cause deceit in hearing God speak?
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3 comments:
Thanks for your thoughts Kari. I think the best way to sense whether the message is from God is to compare it to the Bible and to what you are hearing from your community of faith.
Remember, God loves you a lot!!
Ok - so what about the everyday decisions that we make - it is supposed to be easier to follow God or at least hear his voice the more that we obey. Are we not supposed to obey God in the small things as we learn to trust and obey God in the bigger things? I think that there are times when we are not able to find the specific answer to a specific question in the Bible and also not able to bring it to the community for whatever reason - then what?
I think that we have to be faithful in the little things... too often we ask God for the big things, or direction in the big things, or to be used in the big ways, and we miss his voice and his leading in the overlooked things. On the other hand, I think sometimes people obsess over God's will in every little detail and miss out on the passion of living, held back by fear of making a mistake. I also think the Bible can be very confusing when we use it as a rule book or just search for answers. Sometimes I'll think I know what it says, and then find out later my idea of it was completely wrong. I guess this is why we study scripture in commmunity to protect against that.
As to your last question, when you can't bring it to the community, and I agree that there are times that is true, you find someone you can trust who you know can give you wise counsel. We are not meant to bear burdens alone, but sometimes one trusted, Godly friend is what is needed.
I have discovered in my life that in order to discern God's will for my life, I have to know Him well enough to recognize his voice. For me this is meditation and silence, and meditating on Scripture slowly and thoughtfully, often taking just part of a verse and meditating on it for a day. It's about letting Scripture penetrate and transform me rather than looking to Scripture to work for me. I surrender my will to the Holy Spirit to guide and teach. I also spend lots of time in silence and listening. I often don't leave that time with a clear message from God (although sometimes) but it always amazes me how my soul is open and receptive throughout the day to what He seems to show me. It's not always easy or pleasant, but there is always a sense of reverance and wonder at it all as it is just clearly things beyond myself and my petty world.
This idea of what Hosanna do we mean, is it about asking God to come and save us (on our terms and conditions), or do we lay ourselves at His feet and humbly ask him to transform us, heal us, and make us into something of value and use for His Kingdom? Those are two very different Hosannas.
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